The Sounds of Music
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: The O.W.C.A puts on Space Adventure: The Musical, and Pinky tries to get Perry to audition to help boost his confidence, unaware that singing onstage is connected to memories of Perry's deceased friend. The emotions become too much for Perry to handle, and much to his chagrin, Monogram forces him to see the agency's psychiatrist.
1. Chapter 1

Perry woke up towards the middle of the night. The menu screen for 'On The Trail' was on the television.

Ferb and Candace were snoring on the couch. Phineas, however, was mumbling in his sleep.

"Perry…"

Perry looked sleepily towards Phineas.

"Perry…" Phineas said again.

"I'm here."

Phineas still didn't open his eyes. "Make all the people go away."

"The people?"

"There are too many people around me." Phineas murmured.

Perry yawned and tried to lift Phineas off the couch. Phineas was very heavy.

He dragged Phineas upstairs and into his room. Then he lifted him into his bed.

Completely worn out, Perry flopped down on the floor.

"Perry…" Phineas whimpered, rolling over in his sleep. "Perry, make all the people go away."

"There are no people here." Perry wheezed.

"_YOU_." Phineas growled.

Perry stood up and backed out of the boys's room. Phineas said nothing more.

** ...**

"I said that?" Phineas asked.

"Yes. It was very terrifying. What were you dreaming about?"

"I dunno. Maybe I'm just creepy when I'm asleep."

"I'm creepy when I'm asleep." Ferb said. "When I was a baby the first words I learned were 'I see you'. One time my father put me in my crib and I fell asleep. Then I sleep-climbed out of the crib, crawled into my father's bed, and said 'I see you'. Father didn't know it was me at first."

Phineas laughed. "Are you a creepy sleeper, Perry?"

"I'd like to think not."

"You run in your sleep sometimes." Phineas said. "And you snort a lot."

"Platypuses tend to do that, Phinny."

** ...**

_And Roanna looked into Michele's eyes, and she said, "Michele, never before have I ever in my life anywhere at any given time in any place in the world ever in any spot whether animal, vegetable or mineral have I ever, never, ever in my twenty-three years of life met anyone like you."_

_And Michele looked back at Roanna and said, in his smooth, rich voice, "Roanna, I have no idea what you just said. Could you paraphrase it?"_

_"Oh, I would paraphrase anything, Michele. For you…"_

_They drew closer together, and their lips met, and…_

"Perry!"

Perry jumped and tossed his book halfway across the room. "WHAT THE…"

He whirled around. Pinky was standing behind his chair.

"How many times do I have to ask you to knock?" Perry growled. "I was reading."

Pinky picked up the book and looked at the back. "A chance encounter between a man and a-"

"Give me that." Perry snapped, grabbing the book away from Pinky. "What do you want?"

"Well, the O.W.C.A is having its first-ever musical."

"I thought Devon had one-"

"'Devon: The Musical' doesn't count." Pinky said.

"So what's it of?"

"We don't know yet. But tryouts are this weekend. Carrie's definitely getting in."

"So you're trying out, then? Break a neck or whatever that expression is."

"It's 'break a leg'." Pinky paused. "And I don't think I'll get a big part. I came here to ask if you-"

"Why would you tell someone to break a leg?" Perry asked. "'I hope you get the part and then fall off the stage and land in the orchestra pit and severely injure your hind leg'. How does that help anyone?"

"Perry, you should audition."

"Why?"

"Because you have a great singing voice."

"So does Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Greatly horrible."

"Your voice is really good, Perry. Besides, it'll give you a chance to do something other than read cheesy romance novels."

"For your information, Michele has some awesome fighting scenes in this book."

"Come on."

"I don't know any musicals." Perry said.

"Sure you do. You know North-Side Tale. Remember that song Sophia? I met a girl named Sophia?"

"Isn't that the song that goes like: 'Sing it loud, and it's music playing. Sing it soft, and you can't hear what I'm saying.'"

"Wrong words."

"My lyrics make more sense."

"Okay. Well, that aside, you still know a musical. And didn't you ever see Tiny Store of Terrors?"

"The boys watched that once. Isn't that the one about the tree that eats everyone? And that guy that sings about himself?"

"Um… I guess."

"Yeah. I know that one. I don't want to audition, but thank you."

"Maybe you'll change your mind."

"Maybe I won't."

Pinky shrugged. "Fine then. But can I at least bring you some CD's? It may be fun to learn a few songs."

"Can't physically stop you from doing that." Perry mumbled.

"Great! See you later." Pinky said.

** ...**

"So what's this song from?"

"It's from a musical called 'Haircurlers'." Pinky said. "Good song, right?"

"Why is she singing about hearing the bells? There aren't even any bells in this song. Except those chiming noises just now."

"She just got bumped into by the guy she likes and he noticed her."

"Wow. So he rammed into her so hard she went delusional and started hearing bells?"

"Perry… just listen."

"I can hear the bells!" The girl sang on the CD player. "Round one, he'll ask me on a date and then, round two…"

"I'll tell him that I ate." Perry supplied.

"You're teaching yourself all the wrong words." Pinky said.

"Round three, he gets annoyed I blew him off, our relationship ends before it even starts…"

"Perry!"

"Come on. It's funnier this way."

"If you sing all the wrong words, they won't put you in the musical!"

"I think I told you yesterday I'm not interested in being in it." Perry said.

"Perry, it could be fun."

"Not if I have to be the guy who sings about himself."

"Perry, it's probably not even going to be Tiny Store of Terrors!"

"But it may be Hairdye. How am I going to make it through an entire song about bells?"

"I give up." Pinky sighed.

** ...**

"So after I wore him down, he finally left me alone about it." Perry said. "The O.W.C.A sure is noisy, though. Animals singing everywhere."

"I'm in a musical for school." Phineas said. "It's gonna be preformed in a couple of weeks."

"Which one?"

"Middle School Musical." Ferb said.

"It's about this guy who plays soccer." Phineas said. "And he falls in love with the science geek. I'm Brian Stevens. By the way, can I borrow your fedora? Brian wears a fedora all the time."

"Don't touch the fedora." Perry said. "Get your own."

"Testy." Ferb said.

"Who does Ferb play?" Perry asked.

"He plays Roy Hingeton, the soccer player." Phineas said. "Isabella is the science geek."

"And Baljeet is Roy's best friend, Tad Jeffforth. There are like seven F's in his name." Ferb said.

"The girl who's supposed to be my sister is this girl named Dinah." Phineas said.

"I know her pet duck." Perry said.

"Yeah. But we watched the movie of Middle School Musical and the girl who is Brian's sister actually sounds exactly like Candace. I thought Candace should have played her, but we don't go to the same school."

"What's the sister's name?"

"Poodle or some dog name. I don't remember." Phineas said.

"For some reason, Isabella wanted to be the girl who plays accordion." Ferb said. "Instead of her starring role."

"Why?"

"I don't know. The girl who plays the accordion is Brian's girlfriend, but she doesn't have many lines." Phineas said.

"How do you fall in love with an accordion player?" Perry asked. "Girl, I love the way you play that obnoxiously loud instrument."

"Accordions are cool." Phineas said.

"I played one once when I was little." Ferb said. "The neighbors complained."

"I can't imagine why."


	2. Chapter 2

"The hills are alive, with the sound of music…"

"The hills are alive? That explains so much."

Carrie the cat stopped singing and blinked. "Huh?"

"Now we know why we have earthquakes." Perry said.

"Oh, stop it, Perry." Pinky said. "He's just being funny, Carrie."

"I don't get it." Carrie said.

"I can't believe they don't want the musical to be 'Devon: The Musical'." Devon the dog said. "It's an amazing show."

Darren the duck snickered. "Maybe it'll be Middle School Musical. My owner's in that. She plays some girl with a dog name."

"Auditions are tomorrow." Boomed Randy the reindeer. He handed out pamphlets to all of the agents in the room. "Sing a song from any musical."

"I know what musical Devon's gonna use." Darren said.

"Why bother?" Cecily the cheetah muttered. "Carrie will beat us all for the lead. They may as well just give the part to her."

"What song are you gonna sing, Carrie?" Erica the ermine asked.

Carrie shrugged shyly. "I haven't thought about it. I-"

"You should sing the earthquake song." Perry said.

** ...**

Perry jumped on the virtual worm with all four feet. He clawed at the screen.

"PHINEAS AND FERB!" Candace yelled. "Your ugly smelly platypus is on my meTablet!"

Phineas came into the room. "He's just playing with the free app we got you. It's called Platypus Playground. Platypuses can play with little virtual worms."

"He's scratching up the screen!"

"The screen is meant to withstand his claws, Candace."

Perry tried to bite the virtual worm. He pounced again.

"Get him off!"

"He's having fun, Candace."

"Just grab him!"

"Okay." Phineas picked Perry up. "Come on, Perry."

Perry snarled and kicked the air. He was busy catching the worm. Phineas should have understood that.

"Let's go play another game."

Perry struggled to break free. Phineas carried him up to his room.

"Put me down!"

"In a sec, Perry."

"Why do you always take CANDACE'S side?"

"Because Candace is the only one who's scary when she's angry."

"I can be scary angry. I just choose not to unleash my full power on you."

"I appreciate that." Phineas stood next to Ferb's bed. Ferb was playing a computer game.

"Phinny, my armpits are hurting. Could you at least support my feet if you're not gonna put me down?"

"Sorry." Phineas put him down on the bed.

"I didn't know armpits could hurt." Ferb said.

"Sure they can, Ferb." Phineas said. "Remember that one time when I got my arm caught in the playground fence when I was little?"

"That was your shoulder, not your armpit."  
>"The bottom of your shoulder is your armpit, Ferb."<p>

"Nuh-uh."

"Ya-huh."

"Okay, guys." Perry sat down next to Ferb. "Let's switch the topic."

"But I want to talk about armpits." Ferb said.

"Research them." Phineas said.

Ferb typed a few words. "Here we are. Armpit temperature, anatomy of the armpit…"

"How is there an anatomy of the armpit?" Perry asked. "Label the parts of the armpit. ARMPIT. All done."

"And here are some pictures of armpits." Ferb said. "And examples of how to use armpit in a sentence."

"I feel like armpit isn't a word anymore." Phineas said.

"Then we can use the scientific word for armpit. Axilla." Ferb said.

"Guys, have you seen my…"

All three of them looked up at Candace, standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" She demanded.

"Researching the anatomy of the armpit." Ferb said.

"EW. You guys are so gross." Candace turned and walked away.

"I'm so glad you guys rigged me up a translator so we could have intelligent conversations like this." Perry said.

"Axilla." Said Ferb.

** ...**

"…Thank you, Agent R." Ernest the eagle said after a long pause.

"Yeah, you're totally welcome, man!" Rocky the raccoon said. He did the worm and coasted back into the audience.

"I take offense." Wendell the worm piped up from the back. No one responded.

Ernest's twin sister, Ellen, whispered something to him. Ernest scribbled on his clipboard.

"I can't believe some of the animals auditioning." Perry whispered to Pinky. "It's like they never tried singing before now."

"Well, they'll probably get better with practice." Pinky said.

"Agent N?" Ernest called.

One-fourth of the gathered agents raised their paws.

"Sorry." Ernest said. "Ned the narwhal."

Baby Ned hobbled up to the front on his back fins. He turned to face his audience.

"To-day I wiw be pwefowming an owiginal compowsition." He said.

Baby Ned pressed a button on a CD player. It began to play a slow piano ballad.

Ned reached up dramatically toward the ceiling and began to sing.

"A is a wondewfuw wetter… a wondewfuw wetter indeed… but thowe it's a wondewfuw wetter… wondewfuw things stawt with B…"

"Oh no." Perry said. "Here comes the inevitable."

"Wike…" Ned sang.

The song immediately turned into a rap song.

"BUTT, BUTT, BUTT STAWTS WITH B! BUTT! BUTT! B-U-T-T!"

All the new recruits cheered.

Ernest turned several shades of purple. "THANK you, Agent N."

"Do you think he's just obsessed with butts because he doesn't have one?" Perry asked.

Pinky shrugged.

"If there's a butt-ologist in the musical, I think Ned'll totally nail the role." Perry said.

Ernest had finally managed to stop the rap song.

"Thank you, Agent N." Randy said. He was a little calmer than Ernest. "But I don't think you're old enough to be in a musical yet."

"BUTT I don't think you're old enough!" Ned giggled.

Randy sighed. "All right. Agent P?"

Perry snapped to attention.

Many of the agents raised their hands.

"Peter the panda?" Randy said.

** ...**

"You still up?"

Perry looked away from the glaring light of his laptop and blinked a couple of times to adjust his eyes.

"It's just me, Perry." Phineas yawned. "Why are you up so late?"

Perry pointed at his laptop. "Working. Agency stuff." He yawned. "I'm about to pass out, though. Do you think… could you make me some coffee?"

"I'm eleven. I don't know how to make coffee."

"You can build a roller coaster, travel through time, train domesticated squirrels to live in the wild and create nano-bots but you can't make a simple cup of coffee?"

Phineas murmured something about needing Ferb and went into the kitchen.

Perry tried to keep his eyes open.

_The law in Danville clearly states that if an individual is caught building –inators, it is not a big enough offense to be sent to prison. This is why I simply eradicate the –inators of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz rather than sending him to ieuhdiuhriugeiujnLKA_

"Perry!"

"Huh?" Perry woke up and lifted his head from the keyboard.

Phineas sleepily held out a mug of coffee to him.

"Oh… thanks… you made me coffee."

"You told me to." Phineas mumbled.

"I did?" Perry yawned and took a sip. "That's good… good…"

"Can I go back to bed now?" Phineas asked. "I'm tired."

"Tired…" Perry muttered.

"You should too. You'll get too sleepy."

"Sleep." Perry drank a little more coffee. "Naw. It's okay. This is waking me up. Go to bed. I'll sleep in an hour or so. I just need to get this finished."

** ...**

"Perry, we saved you some pancakes."

Perry stretched his arms. "Hm?"

"Perry." Phineas said again.

Perry opened his eyes. It was strangely light in the boys' room.

"Bright out, isn't it?" He said drowsily.

"Well, yeah-" Phineas began.

Perry jumped up, his heart thudding wildly. "What time is it?!"

"Like ten in the morning. Why?"

"I was supposed to be at work like three hours ago! Where's my alarm? Why didn't it go off?"

"It went off at seven." Phineas said. "You slept through it."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Perry demanded.

"We figured that if you slept through your alarm, you must have really needed the sleep." Phineas said softly.

"I have to go." Perry grabbed his fedora from the bedside table and ran toward the stairs.

"Hey, Ferb!" Phineas said. "Perry's alarm is just like that song from Tiny Store of Terrors!"

"ALAARMMM GOES OFF AT SEVVEEENNNN…" Ferb sang.

** ...**

"So, so sorry." Perry said breathlessly, shoving a folder into Randy's hand.

Randy scrutinized Perry and filed the folder in a cabinet. "If I had a nickel for every time I saw you looking like you'd been dragged through a burr garden…"

"I woke up late." Perry said through clenched teeth. Randy was the nicest out of all the security agents, but he wasn't exactly little miss sunshine.

"I can see that." Randy said.

"You're not supposed to be in here." Ernest said, coming around the corner. "This room is for security agents only."

"I had to give Randy the files I typed up last night."

Ernest glared at him.

"Agent R."

Ernest continued to glare.

Perry took a deep breath. "I had to give Agent R the villain files, sir."

"And why did you not give these files to him at the designated time, when he was in the main room this morning?"

"I overslept, sir."

"Even if you overslept, you could have at least cleaned yourself up a little." Ernest snapped. "Very unprofessional."

Perry bit back a snarky response that had just come to mind and turned to leave.

He nearly collided with an awkward-looking fennec fox wearing huge glasses.

"Watch it." Perry snarled. He stormed out of the room.

** ...**

"Don't mind him, Lowe." Ernest said, fluffing up his feathers. "He's very inconsiderate at times."

Lowe adjusted his glasses and gave Ernest a sharp look. "You haven't been pestering him, have you?"

"Me?" Ernest sputtered.

"I've seen him around. He has a lot of things going on. Very stressed and emotional."

"Have you been analyzing everyone that comes your way?" Ernest asked.

"No." Lowe said calmly. "I don't analyze animals unless they come to me. I simply notice certain things about them. And that platypus is an animal that you shouldn't give a hard time."

Ernest started to protest.

"He's harboring a lot of sadness and anger." Lowe said. "Let him be."

Ernest sighed. It annoyed him that Lowe had enough authority to not have to call him "sir".


	3. Chapter 3

Perry tossed his fedora on the floor and rubbed his head. It hurt from fatigue and annoyance.

"Perry!" Phineas came into the room. "Perry, are you back already?"

Perry nodded.

"Why is your fedora on the floor?" Ferb asked.

"Perry, do you have to go anywhere else today?"

"Does your alarm have to go off at seven again tomorrow?" Ferb asked. "Alllaaaarrrmmm goes off at seven, and you start uptowwwwnnnnn…"

"Perry!" Phineas had to raise his voice to be heard over Ferb. "Perry, are you okay? You look kind of…"

"SHUT UP! _BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!_"

Ferb immediately stopped singing. Phineas froze.

Perry glared at both of them, daring them to make another sound.

Phineas's eyes began to water. The heat left Perry's chest.

"I… I'm so sorry." He said. "I don't know what got into me. I'm just… I'm so tired… it has nothing to do with you."

"We're sorry, Perry." Phineas said.

"No. It's not your fault. You two are great. I'm just really tired… and Ernest ticked me off…"

Ferb said nothing.

"I just… I can't answer stuff the instant I wake up, okay?"

"Uh-huh." Phineas said.

"Don't be upset. I'm not mad at you."  
>"We know. Ferb, did you leave the bath running?"<p>

Ferb looked at Phineas, and then at the stairwell. A little waterfall was beginning to trickle down.

"Oops." Ferb said.

Perry smiled a little.

** ...**

"Agh! His nose beeped." Devon said.

Perry watched Devon and Darren from afar as they played "Surgery". Darren managed to get the penguin out of the cardboard man's stomach without making his nose light up.

"Are you sure you don't want to play, Perry?" Devon asked.

"I'll just watch." Perry said. "From a safe distance of seven feet."

"He's afraid of tweezers." Darren said.

"Why?" Devon asked.

"I don't know. Perry, why are you afraid of tweezers again?"

"Accident. Few months ago. Vision in the right eye clouded for ten minutes. Pain. Suffering."

"In English, Perry." Darren said.

"Just play your stupid game." Perry said.

Darren shrugged. "Your turn, Devon."

Devon picked up the tweezers and removed the barbell from the man's cheek.

The man's nose beeped.

"Hey, no fair!" Devon said. "That didn't touch the sides. I swear it didn't. I think my tweezers make the wiring go faulty or something."

Perry scoffed. "Another reason to hate tweezers."

"Hey, guys." Carrie said, coming into the room. "Callbacks are today."

"Cool." Devon said.

"People are now going to sing a composition of their own." Carrie said shyly. "I can't wait to see what you come up with, Perry."

"I didn't audition." Perry said.

"They called you back anyway." Carrie said. "I think Randy heard you sing last year or something. For a couple minutes. Anyway, he thinks you're really good."

"Last year? The only time I remember singing at the agency was whe-" Perry stopped himself. "Never mind."

Darren burst out laughing. "Oh right! Dev, remember when Perry was little?"

"My body lies over the ocean…" Devon sang.

"Cut it out." Perry growled. "It was years ago. Can't we move on?"

** ...**

"And if you ever kick me again, I'll whack you over the he-e-ead, no I won't rest, until you are whacked in the he-e-ead!"

"…Thank you, Agent J, for that interesting composition."

"It's called 'Whacked In The Head'." Jack Russell the Jack Russell Terrier said.

"Agent Peter the Panda, you're up." Ernest said.

Jack Russell hopped off the stage to make room for Peter the panda.

"What is the title of your song?" Ernest asked.

"Save The Pandas."

"Very well. You may begin."

"Bamboo is a food that is so underrated, but I feel that there is some room to debate it. Pandas everywhere are losing their homes, while cheapos like Trevor yak on their phones…"

Trevor the Doberman stopped in the middle of his phone conversation and scowled at Peter. "I couldn't donate to your stupid foundation because I already spent my check, Peter!"

"Oh, so pandas are stupid now, are they?" Peter said, folding his arms.

"Look, I'm in the middle of an important phone call…"

"You wanna fight me?" Peter demanded. "Let's go, Trevor. Right here, right now. You and me."

Trevor stood up, baring his teeth.

"THAT will not be necessary." Randy said. "Thank you, Agent P. Agent T, please stay seated. Now, could we have Agent Clara the chicken?"

Clara waddled onto the stage.

"My song is entitled 'The Chicken Dance'." Clara said.

She began to perform the chicken dance.

"Ah, Agent C…" Brandon the bulldog said, holding up a paw. "That is not an original composition."

Clara appeared offended. "The chicken dance belongs to ALL of the chickens."

Edie the elephant was up next.

"I shall be performing an interpretive dance." Edie announced.

Perry braced himself.

"No!" The security agents shouted. "NO, EDIE, NO NO!"

Edie lifted her foot.

The room began to shake as though a giant earthquake were searing through. New recruits and small animals flew through the air. Perry held onto his seat for dear life.

At last the dance was finished. Edie took a bow and ambled back to her twelve seats. The room was completely overturned.

"Thank you, Edie." Randy said shakily. "Agent Perry the platypus?"

Pinky nudged him. "You'll do great."

Perry shrugged. He walked up to the stage, which was slightly caved in from Edie's dance.

"What is your composition entitled?" Randy asked.

"Things That Actually Happened." Perry said.

"Things That Actually Happened?" Ernest asked skeptically.

"Yes."

"Very well, begin." Ernest said.

Perry thought for a moment before starting.

"There are things about this place that make me want to get some space, like a cranky security agent whose head falls off…"

Ernest raised an eyebrow.

"The Mexican food station's always closed, which makes the major mad, even though the other food they have here isn't bad. But nothing scarred me more, than the time a duck chased me around with a chair.. And I don't know why. He shoulda been lookin' where he was going, but he didn't and smashed my head."

Ernest just stared at Perry.

"Yes, that's the end." Perry said. "If you guys had given me more notice about my being in the callbacks, I would have had time to compose a better song with lyrics that weren't just a strain of thoughts I had this morning."

"Thank you." Ernest said pointedly. "Next!"

"Why did you do that?" Pinky asked when Perry sat down.

"Do what?" Perry asked testily.

"You know what. You didn't even sing. You basically talk-sung a whole song insulting Ernest."

"For your information, the only insult to Ernest was in the beginning of the song. Then I ranted against the food stations, then Monogram, and then Darren the duck."

"Darren hit you in the head with a chair?"  
>"I thought I clarified that. It was in the song. Look, Pinky. I don't care what they think of my singing voice, all right?"<p>

"You should let them hear it."

"Well, apparently Randy already heard it, so no harm done."

** ...**

Perry made sure no one was in the instrument room before he walked in. He guessed the O.W.C.A conductor, Saucy Penguin, had forgotten to lock up.

Perry sat down at one of the pianos and absent-mindedly played a few repeating notes. It was dark and hard to see, but Perry preferred that. It gave him a chance to think.

He knew all Pinky was trying to do was get his confidence up. But it drove him insane. The last thing he had wanted to do today was get up in front of a ton of people and sing.

The last time he'd done that, he'd had Terrence the turkey by his side.

But Terrence was gone now.

Perry felt the familiar sadness fill him again. He missed his old friend so badly.

He began to play the song he had written a couple of years back, the day after Terrence had died. He doubted it would make him feel better, but at least it gave him something to do.

He had thought up some lyrics for the song a few months ago, and he tried them out. It was surprising how singing it made him feel better. As though his sadness were leaving with his words.

After forever, the song finally ended. Perry sighed a little and stopped playing. He felt very empty.

Then the sound of clapping snapped him back to reality in a panic.

"That was amazing." Randy said. "You have an incredible voice. Why did you hide it?"

"Wonderful." Brandon said.

"It was passable." Ernest said.

Perry shook with fury. "Why are you guys here? What in the WORLD are you DOING here?"

"We came to re-audition you." Randy said, looking confused. "We were informed you wanted another chance.

"You're definitely lead material." Brandon said. "I'll tell you that now. However, if you'd prefer a smaller role…"

"I don't want to be in the stupid thing." Perry growled. "I don't want to go near the stupid thing. And if Pinky was the person who 'informed' you, I SWEAR I WILL PUMMEL HIM."

"You didn't ask him to notify us?" Randy asked.

Perry leapt up from the piano chair and dashed out of the music room.

Pinky was standing outside.

"They liked you, then?" He asked.

He suddenly noticed Perry's face. "Oh. Perry, I'm sorry. I just heard you singing and thought…"

"You have no business with that." Perry spat. "You had no idea that what I was singing in there was NOT something I would EVER want anyone to HEAR, LEAST of all them."

"I thought-"

"I know I'm your charity friend, Pinky. I know I'm the friend that you feel like you have to help all the time. I'm not a helpless animal! I know I can sing! I know I can easily get every lead in the whole musical if I want to! But I DON'T WANT TO!"

"I was trying to help." Pinky said. "I wanted you to know you were good."

"Well, let's make a deal." Perry hissed. "Next time you think I'm good at something, TELL ME AND I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT."

He shoved Pinky aside and ran into the bathroom before he could say anything else. Perry grabbed anything he could find- statues, magazines, little pots- and smashed them on the floor. He tore the magazines apart and threw them across the room.

He was crying in the middle of the rubble when Monogram came in, followed by Carl.

"Oh no." Monogram crouched down and picked up the head of a statue that had once resembled Colonel Conundrum. "Oh, Agent P… Carl, get me Lowe."


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't know what's going on with him." Monogram said, keeping a firm hand on Perry's shoulder. "I just came into the bathroom and found him bawling. He'd thrown everything all over the room. All the statues and soap dishes are broken."

Lowe nodded.

"Anyway." Monogram said. "He's done this sort of thing before. I don't know why I didn't take him to you sooner. But I'd be really grateful if you could sort him out."

Lowe turned and walked away. Perry was a little confused until Monogram took hold of his arm, and they followed him.

Lowe headed into a room that Perry had always thought was a broom closet. Instead it was a room filled with comfortable-looking couches. Pictures of desert landscapes and baby fennec foxes lined the walls.

"Be good." Monogram told Perry, handing him a tissue. Perry blew his nose.

Monogram left, closing the door behind him. Perry looked down at the ground.

"Make yourself comfortable." Lowe said. He searched around in a small hole he had obviously dug in the carpet and produced a notepad. "Sit anywhere you like."

"Lots of options." Perry muttered. He sat down on the first couch he saw and twisted his tissue around in his hands.

Lowe sat down in a couch across from him. "You may not have seen me around very much. My name is Lowe Land. I trained to be an agent here, but fighting evil wasn't my strong suit. I'm much better at sensing and analyzing emotions, which is why Major Monogram appointed me as a psychiatrist."

Perry scowled. "And he thinks I've gone crazy. Is that why I'm here?"

Lowe shook his head. "He doesn't think you're crazy. He thinks you just need help. You've been very emotional lately. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just here to help you sort things out."

"I hardly know you." Perry said.

"We'll get to know each other."

"How long is this going to take?"

"Well, we'll have daily sessions." Lowe said. "So about thirty minutes or an hour a day."

Perry sulked.

"Should we get started?" Lowe asked.

"Can I say no?"

"You could." Lowe said.

Perry sighed and began tearing up his tissue. "Fine."

"So your name is Perry?"

"No, it's Elizabeth."

"You love to joke around, I've heard."

Perry shrugged.

"Tell me a bit about yourself."

"My name's Perry."

Lowe didn't get annoyed like Perry expected him to. "Anything else you'd like to add?"

"I don't know."

"What's your favorite thing to do?"

"I don't know. Read, I guess."

"What kind of books do you read?"

"Lots of different kinds."

"What's your favorite book?"

"If you narrow down those questions any further, you're going to be asking me what kind of tree they made the paper out of." Perry said.

Lowe nodded. "All right. I'll move on. What's your favorite color?"

"Teal, I guess? I never really think about this kind of stuff."

Lowe wrote a few things down on his notepad. "All right. Is there anything you want to talk about? Any dreams you had recently? Or anything at all?"

"Sure. Why doesn't Ernest lower his voice every once in a while? If he keeps it up, his head will flitter off."

Lowe half-smiled. "He is a little critical, isn't he? Did he bother you yesterday?"  
>"He drives me up a wall." Perry said. "He's so serious all the time. Hey, I thought it'd be better if I came here as quick as I could rather than delaying to clean myself up. Come to think of it, he probably would have STILL called me out for showing up all clean. He would have been like, 'Oh, you woke up late. So instead of rushing here immediately, you wasted more time to wash up?' I can never win with him. I'm telling you."<p>

"Do you talk to him often?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Are there any agents you like here?"

"Sure. I mean, I don't hate any of them, anyway. I hated Darren, but we're okay now. I think I just hate Ernest. And Brandon, sometimes. Randy's all right most of the time. I still don't really like him, though."

"Why don't you like them?"

"They're hard on me. I wish they'd cut me a break."

"If they were nice to you, do you think you'd like them?"

"Probably."

"You've had a rough day, so we'll end here, if you like." Lowe said. "You can come back tomorrow around three."

"I 'can'? Don't you mean I 'have to'?"

"You have to come back tomorrow around three." Lowe said with a smile.

** ...**

"Perry, I am SO sorry…"

"I don't want to talk right now, Pinky."

"I need to tell you…"

The agents were all crowded around the musical list.

"I got the main part." Carrie said.

"What musical is it?" Devon asked.

"Space Adventure: The Musical." Carrie said. "I'm Princess Cinnamon."

"I'm Darth Hater." Peter said.

"Humph." Said Devon.

"You know what, Dev?" Peter asked. "Haters gonna hate."

Perry pushed past everyone else and looked up at the list. Next to the main character, Lucas Skyjogger, it said: PERRY, PLEASE RECONSIDER BEING A PART OF THIS.

Perry felt a little bit of pride, but it quickly diminished when he remembered the previous day.

"Perry…" Pinky managed to get through the crowd. "Perry, can we talk?"

"You're Stan Single. Congratulations." Perry said irritably.

"I'm backup singer twenty-two!" Rocky said. "YES!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm backup singer twenty-one!" Said Jack Russell.

Perry used the distraction to get away from Pinky.

He ran down the hall and shoved open the door to Randy's office. Randy looked up at him.

"Yes?"

"I want to be in it." Perry said. "In the musical."

Randy almost smiled. "All right. I'll let the others know."

** ...**

"This musical has action, love, adventure and Good vs. Evil." Said Monty. "We will all work together to make this the best production ever. Brandon the bulldog will be directing, since I have no idea what most of you guys are saying with those animal noises."

Brandon stepped forward. "All right. Here's the basic plot of Space Adventure One: A vegetable farmer named Lucas Skyjogger finds these two robots and they take him on a quest and he must defeat his evil father Darth Hater."

"Isn't Cinnamon his sister?" Peter asked.

"Yes." Said Brandon.

Peter was looking through his script. "Then why do they kiss on page 22?"

Brandon turned pink. "Er… they don't know they're related. And Cinnamon was trying to make Stan Single jealous. All right. Let's all learn the first song. It's just seven words, so it should be easy."

** ...**

An hour later, all of the agents were still singing.

"I can't believe you can't get this!" Brandon said. "All you have to do is sing, 'Space adventure, it's an adventure in space'. TRY AGAIN."

The agents sang.

"Something adventure, it's an adventure in something."

"Space adventure, it's an adventure in cookie."

"Space… la la la… it's la la la la in space."

"I can't remember the words!" Shouted Carrie.

Brandon sighed. "Let's move on. The next song is when Cinnamon has been kidnapped by Darth Hater. Hit it, Herman."

Herman the hedgehog began to play the piano.

"Father asked me to clean my room… but I said no, and very soon…" Carrie sang. "I was imprisoned and kidnapped, imprisoned, imprisoned and kidnapped…"

"And now the extra rebel fighters come in." Brandon said.

The extras hopped onto the scene and sung to the background of Carrie's song. "Prisoners, in jail, prisoners, in ja-il, prisoners, in jail, prisoners, in ja-il…"

** ...**

"…And then Peter tripped over Carrie during the final dance number." Perry said.

"Ouch." Phineas said.

"Ouch indeed." Ferb said.

"Thanks for agreeing to a movie night." Perry said, stirring the spaghetti. "I think this will help a little in cheering me up."

"Don't ever be sad, Perry." Phineas said. "Never ever."

"I can't help it if I'm sad."

"I saw this movie once about this platypus who ate this kid's science teacher." Ferb said.

"What was it called?" Phineas asked.

"The Platypus Ate My Science Teacher."

"Cool." Phineas said. "What movie should we watch?"

"Let's watch baby movies." Ferb said. "I have a video of me being born."

"NO." Perry and Phineas said at the same time.

"Well then." Ferb said.

"Let's watch Offspring of the Acorns." Phineas said.

"No way. That gave me nightmares for weeks." Ferb said.

"How about that Harvey Porter movie we haven't seen yet? The one that is the last one?"

"You won't like that one." Perry said. "Harvey Porter actually dies. Oh, and then the main villain guy that looks like a frog explodes into fairy dust."

"Oh. Well, let's watch the one about the kid who wins an orange juice factory."

"Sure." Said Perry.

"No qualms about that." Ferb said.

** ...**

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH…"

"No, no." Brandon shook his head. "The OOOHHHHHHH has to be bigger."

Annoyed, Peter tried again. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…"

"OH, WOAH WOAH!" Sang the backup singers.

"I haaavvvveeeee yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" Peter sang.

Perry was surprised at how long Peter was able to hold the note.

Everyone applauded.

"Very nice." Said Brandon. "Now, let's practice the rebel dance number again."

All of the agents began to dance. Cecily the cheetah tripped over Ferdinand the frog. Alan the alligator accidentally kicked Trevor.

"STOP STOP STOP!" Brandon yelled. "Is Perry the only one who can do this?"

"Yes." All of the agents responded truthfully.

"Excuse me?"

Brandon turned toward the door. "WHAT, Lowe?"

"I know you're in the middle of a rehearsal." Lowe said. "But I need to borrow Perry from you."

"There's a five-dollar renting fee." Perry said.

"Fine. See you tomorrow, Perry." Brandon mumbled. "All right. Let's do this CORRECTLY now."

Perry followed Lowe out of the room.

"So you're the lead? That's wonderful." Lowe said.

Perry shrugged. "I guess. Are you going to ask me questions for two hours today?"

"No. I have a little something different."


	5. Chapter 5

"Elephant."

"I'm sorry-"

"Triceratops."

"Triceratops?"

"Onion."

"What is spouting random words at me going to accomplish?" Perry asked.

Even though he had already explained it, Lowe calmly explained it again. "I'm seeing how you react to certain words. Those other words didn't mean anything to you because they don't remind you of anything or have any connection to any of your emotions. You don't have to say anything in response."

"Triceratops, though? Who would ever connect any life event with triceratops?"

"You'd be surprised." Lowe smiled. "Ready to try again?"

"I guess."

"Monkey. Spear. Flashlight. Leaves."

At "leaves", Perry felt a slight sting in his heart. He pushed the sadness away.  
>Lowe wrote something down. "Cow. Ocean. Nettles. Blowfish."<p>

Perry smiled a little. Ferb would have loved to comment on that.

"Geyser. Flame. Tomato. Steam engine. Flower. Child. Retina. City. Friend." Lowe scribbled a few things down. "All right. So far you have reacted with a slightly negative emotion towards Leaves and Flame. You responded positively to Blowfish, Child and Friend. You had no response for the other words."

"I don't remember responding. Except maybe I laughed a little for blowfish."

"I know to look for subtle reactions in the eyes. Glazing over, faraway gazes, slight twitches, softening around the edges."

"Is that why your glasses are so huge?"

"Do you know what you associated these words with? Or were the thoughts too quick for you to process?"

"Yes. I know."

"What did blowfish remind you of?"

"My owners. They have this really weird game they play where the announcer says 'Buh-lowfish"… long story. Anyways, they say that a lot."

"What about flame?"

The image flashed in Perry's mind again.

"No comment."

"You were caught in a fire at some point?"

"Yeah. Sort of. But I don't want to talk about it."

"Friend?"

"My owners again."

"Child?"

"Them too."

"Leaves?"

"I don't want to talk about that either." Perry felt a hand clawing at his stomach.

"It's associated with deep sadness for you."

"Yeah. It is. I'd really rather not think about it."

"All right. Let's try some different words. Light. Music. Telephone. Condo."

"I'm bored."

"We'll move on, then." Lowe said.

** ...**

When Perry came home, Phineas and Ferb were lying on the floor, listening to an audio book on the CD player.

"…and so, the tale ends here." A female voice said. A different male voice came on.

"Hello. This is famous audiobook reader, Rodrick Wilson. We hope you have enjoyed 'Cow Tales Four'. As an audiobook reader, I believe that it is very important to play audiobooks for children. And this is why audiobooks should be read in my delicious voice. We are glad you-"

Phineas turned off the CD player.

"Delicious voice." Ferb mocked.

"How can a voice be delicious?" Phineas asked.

"I don't know." Perry said. "But remember that movie with the singing mermaid? When the octopus lady ate her voice?"

"She didn't eat it, she just trapped it in a shell." Phineas said.

"Ever heard of saving food for later?" Perry asked.

"Leftovers." Ferb said.

** ...**

Perry tore down the sign from his door and started to open it.

Something fell out of a small pocket on the sign.

Perry looked down. He kicked the sign that said "I'm Sorry Perry" out of the way and picked up the chocolate bar.

He debated taking it with him. He loved chocolate, but he didn't want Pinky to think he was forgiving him yet.

In the end, he decided he would accept the chocolate, but not the apology. Perry gave the sign another kick and stormed into his lair.

He felt very funny these days. He remembered a few months ago when he had been playing around with Phineas and Ferb without having any sadness to hide, fighting with Doofenshmirtz when the only thing that was making him angry was Doofenshmirtz himself, and when he was alone… just being calm and not worrying about anything.

"What the heck is wrong with me?" He muttered to himself. He unwrapped the chocolate bar and took a bite.

A loud knock sounded on his door.

"Go away, I'm in a bad mood." Perry snapped.

"That is no way to respond, agent." Security agent Darrell the donkey said.

"I'm in a bad mood, SIR." Perry said with his mouth full.

Darrell walked in anyway. "If that's so, then you had better snap out of it." He slammed a pile of papers down on Perry's desk.

"What's this?" Perry asked, greatly annoyed.

"The results of your fitness test." Darrell said. "You were beyond perfect in the physical aspect of the test. The written part, however, was less than satisfactory, resulting in you being unable to move up in rank unless you re-take this test, and pass."

Perry frowned. "I remember knowing the answer to all of those questions. What could I have possibly done wrong?"

Darrell sorted out the papers and pulled out a single sheet. "The last page. The instructions clearly say to answer three of the six questions. You answered all six."

Perry grabbed the paper and stared at it. "Yeah, I did. I spent a long time on the answers, too. Wait- you… MARKED me OFF for that?"

"Following instructions is a very big part of an agent's job." Darrell said. "If you cannot follow directions-"

"I DID BETTER THAN THE FREAKING DIRECTIONS!"

"WATCH IT." Darrell chided. "We would have taken more points off, but the answers were very good and well-thought out. You will, however, have to re-take the test if you want to earn more than you're earning now. I advise taking it around the time of your physical examination so you won't have to do certain things twice."

Perry's heart was beating in his ears. He restrained the urge to punch Darrell.

"You…"

** ...**

"I don't quite see what I did wrong." Perry grumbled. "I could have punched him in the face, but I didn't."

"You wanted to hit him?"

"Yes."

"Were you angry because you worked so hard?"

"Yes. I think."

Lowe nodded. "Or were you angry because you didn't feel the test was fair? Like they were trying to trick you, rather than have you pass?"

Perry thought for a moment.  
>"Yes." He said finally. "How… how did you know that?"<p>

"I just assumed." Lowe said. "I've analyzed your thought patterns enough to where I can infer how you feel about things."

"So you know how I feel right now?"

Lowe nodded. "Angry, conflicted and upset. When you are content, you let your guard down. You feel happiness more than you let people see it."

"Why am I conflicted?"

"Because you don't usually feel so upset." Lowe said. "You're very unbalanced right now. It's because of suppressed feelings and negative events. I have been trying to get you to tell me about what you are blocking from your mind. It's been eating at you for a couple years, from what I can tell, and it finally seems to be taking quite a bit out of you. This is why you only started having trouble a few weeks ago."

"How do I know what I'm blocking?" Perry asked, feeling a little less upset. What Lowe said seemed to make sense.

"I know what it is associated with." Lowe said. "Based on your reactions to things and the things you have told me. You associate this thing with 'leaves', 'flame' and 'friend'. Your dreams are usually about trying to find someone, and you say they usually have a lot of dark colors, like black or dark blue. You prefer to be aloof from other animals. When asked to put your favorite seasons in order, you said 'Summer, Winter, Spring, Fall'. You also reacted negatively a picture of a ramshackle building, a child's hand, and a farm. You need to think. What do these mean to you?"

"…I… well… the building and the fire… would be Phineas."

"Yes?"

"Phineas got stuck in a burning building once and got really hurt. I was panicked getting him out of there."

"Everything else?"

Perry sighed. "Mostly… well… the last time I saw my friend… we… played in a leaf pile."

** ...**

Perry didn't quite remember telling Lowe everything. All he knew was that it had started getting darker outside, and that he was currently sobbing.

Without a word, Lowe handed him a tissue. Perry blew his nose. "I am crazy, aren't I? Phinny's fine. And Terrence has been gone a long time now. And I've seen him, and he's happy. I'm demented."

"You're not." Lowe said. "You're just afraid."

"No."

"You are." Lowe said. "You're afraid of loss. That is what has been eating at you. You didn't know what it was, so you turned it into emotions you could understand. You turned it into sadness and eventually anger."

Perry tried to stop shaking.

"That is why you dream about finding people." Lowe said. "The color black is associated with loneliness or something dangerous that you cannot interfere with. Dark blue is deep sadness. And you don't like developing relationships, because you fear you will only lose them. You're afraid of the pain of loss."

Perry wiped his eyes. "I… can't stop that."

"I know. But now that you know what it is, you can recover from the damage it's done you. It will take time. And I'm here if you need me."

Perry said nothing.

"Stay and calm down for a minute." Lowe said. "Then you can leave or stay as you wish."

** ...**

Perry wandered down the halls, feeling small and yet somewhat better. He didn't quite know where he was going.

"Are you okay?"

Perry looked up. He had almost crashed into Peter.

"Your eyes are all fuzzy." Peter said.

"Maybe you need glasses." Perry said weakly. He smiled a little.

"Well, you seem better than you were this morning… kinda." Peter said.

"I feel better. I kind of had a catharsis moment."

"I don't know what that means. But they were looking for you a while ago. It's time to start rehearsal."

"Oh. Okay." Perry smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready to talk to Pinky yet, but… if you get the chance, tell him thank you for the chocolate."

"What chocolate?"

"Oh, Peter." Perry walked away.

Peter followed him. "Wait, did you have chocolate earlier? Why didn't you share it with me? I like chocolate. Why didn't Pinky give me chocolate?"

"I still have a tiny square of it left."

"You're awesome, Perry."


	6. Chapter 6

"What is the meaning of this?" Gustav demanded in his thick French accent as soon as Perry walked in.

Perry blinked. He had no idea what was on the piece of paper Gustav was waving at him.

"Do not look so innocent." Gustav spat. "I found THIS at the bottom of the complaint box two weeks ago."

Perry vaguely remembered writing in a complaint after he was groomed by Gustav months before.

"It reads," Gustav said, holding up the paper. "This man did nothing but insult me the moment I sat down, tried to spray me with water from the toilet, breathed on me, and stabbed me in the eye."

"All true accounts." Perry said.

"Firstly," Gustav growled. "You ungrateful little beaver, I made you look beautiful enough to nearly win a beauty competition, which was all you could hope for."

"There you go again." Perry said. "Insulting me."

"Stop your chittering. Secondly, it is called EAU DE TOILETTE, which is toilet water. I have told you that it does not come from the toilet. Thirdly, everything BREATHES."

"Not in large gusts every five seconds. I was concerned about your lungs." Perry wondered how Gustav would react if he could understand him.

"And FOURTHLY… is that not a word? Fourthly?"

"Congrats, you're the first person to make it to fourthly. Are you gonna go to Disneyland?"

"If you hadn't been squirming so much, my hand wouldn't have slipped! As it was, I barely touched your eye!"

"I think there's still a dent in it." Perry retorted. "Wanna bet?"

They glared at each other.

"Pumpkin, what a nice surprise." Sideblow said, coming up behind Gustav.

"Miserable creature." Gustav muttered, breaking his gaze with Perry. "He wrote in a highly absurd complaint."

Sideblow took the paper from Gustav and looked at it. "To be fair, Gustav, you could try being a little nicer to the animals we groom. And you DID poke him in the eye, don't you remember? I had to take over because he started kicking you."

"Kicking Gustav was fun." Perry said.

"As for the breathing and the perfume, I don't think those are very logical complaints. But never mind that. Did you need something, pumpkin?"

Perry nodded. He pointed to a statue behind Gustav.

"This okapi statue?" Sideblow asked. He picked it up. "Sure, you can have it. I'm not even sure where we got it, and I never cared much for it."

"I can't believe you dared to write these things about moi." Gustav sniffed, still agonizing over the complaint paper. "I worked on you for three whole hours, and this is the thanks I get?"

** ...**

"Happy birthday, dad!" Phineas said. "This present's from Perry."

He set down the present Perry had wrapped in front of Lawrence.

"How can that be from Perry?" Candace demanded. "Platypuses don't DO anything."

"Perry picked it out." Phineas said.

Perry drooled on Candace's slice of cake.

"EEEWWW." Candace glowered at him.

Perry hiccupped.

Lawrence unwrapped the present. "Oh my word! It's a 1947 Omega Okapi statue! How on earth did you boys find this antique?"

"Perry found it." Phineas said.

"Well, thank you so much, Perry! This is truly wonderful!"

Perry smiled.

** ...**

"Tomorrow is our performance." Brandon said. "So I hope you all are ready."

"I can't see." Peter said, crashing into Carrie.

"Your mask is on backwards." Perry said.

"Oh. Which way am I facing?"

Perry sighed.

"This has been a good dress rehearsal." Brandon said. "And I'm very proud of all of you."

Monogram walked in at that very moment, followed by Admiral Acronym.

"As you can see, the agents are ready to perform 'Space Adventure: The Musical' tomorrow." He said.

Herman began to play 'chopsticks' on the piano.

Peter crashed into a wall. He still hadn't figured out his helmet.

"I can sing louder than you." Kyle the kangaroo dared Rocky.

"Dude, you're so totally on." Rocky began to screech out a couple of notes as loud as he could.

Clara the chicken was doing the moonwalk.

"Uh… would you like to get a bagel from the café, Wanda?" Monogram asked. "They have a new cheese kind now."

** ...**

"AAANNND NOW PRESENTING, THE MUSICAL YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, SPACE ADVENTURE!" Darren announced.

The crowd of animals went wild. The humans in the audience clapped politely, even though they knew all they would hear would be animals skwawking and barking to music.

"PRISONERS IN JAIL, PRISONERS IN JA-IL…" Ferdinand sang, hopping onto the stage.

"Not YET, Ferdinand!" Kyle hissed, pulling him back behind the curtain.

"I forgot my rope." Ferdinand said.

"I have some rope." Perry handed the rope to Ferdinand, who began to tie himself up.

"Our story opens on a ship, where Princess Cinnamon and a bunch of rebels are hiding." Darren said.

Darren left. Carrie pranced onto the stage, smoothed out her silky white dress, and began to sing.

"They're coming, coming for us…"

She stopped.

"Why isn't she singing?" Perry hissed.

"It's a duet. Trevor was supposed to sing with her." Peter whispered.

"Where's Trevor?" Brandon whispered loudly. "The song's not gonna make any sense without Trevor!"

"He got sick." Cecily said.

"Well, THAT'S good to know at the last minute! Where's his understudy?"

Carrie went on anyway. "Are you certain? Are you certain there is no escape… why thank you, that is very kind of you…"

"I'll sing Trevor's part!" Peter offered.

"Peter, you can't be a rebel in Darth Hater's clothing-" Perry began.

Peter was already on stage. "Quick, you must hide, dear princess, dear princess…"

"Where can I hide, dear rebel leader, from the vicious Darth Hater?"

"You must hide somewhere where that empire scum can't find youuuu!"

The scene changed. Peter ran offstage, adjusted his cape, and ran back on.

"Your days are numbered, Princess! I, Darth Hater, have found you at last!"

"Oh no!" Carrie shrieked. "Now we are prisoners!"  
>Ferdinand and the other rebels danced onto the stage, tied in rope. "Prisoners, in jail, prisoners, in ja-il…"<p>

"Father, you cannot do this to me!"

** ...**

A couple of scenes later, Carrie was starting to forget her lines.

"You're a… a…" She said.

Perry turned down his mic to help her out. "You're a little short for a soldier."

Instead of repeating the line, Carrie said the line that was supposed to come afterwards. "Huh? Oh. I'm Lucas Skyjogger. I'm here to rescue you."

Perry sighed.

Carrie's eyes widened, realizing her mistake. "I… I meant… you're Lucas Skyjogger. You're here to rescue me."

"Smooth." Perry muttered. He turned his mic on again. "Yes. Now let's get you out of here."

"I was a prisoner." Carrie said sadly.

Ferdinand hopped onto the stage again. "Prisoners, in jail, prisoners, in ja-il…"

"Ferdinand!" Perry heard Kyle whisper from behind the curtain. "Your cue already happened! You're not supposed to go on EVERY TIME she says 'prisoner'!"

"Whoops." Ferdinand said. "Sorry, folks." He went away.

** ...**

"I HAAAVVVVEEEEEEEE YOOOOOUUUUUU NOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Peter sang, flailing his arms for dramatic effect.

His paw hit the side of the set. The entire backdrop came tumbling down, crushing half the actors. The lights fell onto the stage. Perry ducked as an amp came tumbling down at him.

When the smoke cleared, Perry looked around.

Peter, his mask half off, was sitting in the middle of the rubble. Pinky looked dizzy. A light had smashed Herman's piano and the music had stopped.

The audience stared.

"The Doom Star has been destroyed." Perry joked.

The audience cheered.

"What an awesome ending!" Perry heard Erica the ermine say from the audience. "Usually they just blow up a piece of Styrofoam or something."

"Take a bow." Brandon said wearily.

All of the agents that hadn't been crushed from Peter's solo came out and took a bow. Ferdinand came out, too.

"Prisoners, in jail, prisoners, in ja-il…"

** ...**

"Good job, Agent P." Monogram said, handing Perry a bouquet of flowers. "I have no idea what you guys were saying, and I don't know whether that thing with the set was supposed to happen or not, but I have a feeling you did excellently."

Perry smiled.

Monogram handed another bouquet to Henry the horse. "You did wonderful as well, Henry. Your performance as a rebel was exceptional."

Henry beamed and promptly ate the bouquet.

"Awesome, Agent P." Monty gave Perry a high-five. "Nice dodging when the set came crashing down, too."

"You did awesome, Perry." Pinky said.

"Thanks." Perry said. "Thanks for getting me involved."

"I'm so, so-"

"You've said it enough times, Pinky. I forgave you already."

Lowe emerged from the mass of animals in the audience and shook Perry's hand. "Good work. You have an incredible voice. And great save at the end there."

"Thanks. Thanks for coming."

"I'd better get going." Lowe said. "It's cold in here."

"I'm hot." Perry said.

"You've been underneath lights, and your natural habitat isn't the desert. Have a good time."

"I was thinking." Perry said. "If they do a play next year, they should do one starring the Flittering Eagle. 'The Importance Of Being Ernest'."

"I HEARD THAT." Ernest shouted from the crowd.

"Oh Ernie." Perry muttered.

** ...**

Perry was a little surprised to find Phineas and Ferb lying on the floor when he returned to his lair.

Phineas looked at him with a guilty expression.

"What did you two do? Did you install a rocket on my fedora, and it blasted away? Or did you bust up the hovercar?"

"We were waiting for you to get back." Phineas said weakly.

"We kind of found the candy you had from Halloween in your closet." Ferb moaned.

Perry looked toward the plastic pumpkin lying on the floor. "You ate ALL the candy?"

"All the candy." Phineas repeated. "ALL the candy."

"You didn't come to the show because you were too busy raiding my closet? I'm ashamed of you two. You missed a good show, too. Peter crushed half the cast in the final number. And Carrie only forgot her lines twenty-eight times."

"I'm sick." Phineas said.

"I'm gonna hold this against you, you know. You didn't come out to support me because you ate all my Halloween candy."

"Fine, fine." Ferb groaned. "You can remind us about it all you want later. I'm in pain."

"All right." Perry said. "I think I have some stomach medicine in the fridge. You guys better not raid the secret stash again, though."

"Never again." Ferb said. "Never again will we eat pounds candy instead of listening to the sounds of music."


End file.
